X is for Xylophobia
xylophobia fear of wooden objects/fear of wood/fear of wooded areas
suggested new word, Collins English Dictionary
I’m doing folklore and book review posts to reach and please a larger audience. Previous years have shown select interest in both and to minimise blogging throughout the year, I’m focusing my efforts on April.
If you’d rather check out my book review for today, go here.
I’m not sure where I first encountered vampires in fiction. I did grow up with “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”, though, and understood all the cultural references to Dracula in any book/movie he was mentioned. And it is always hilarious when vampires fear a little piece of wood. But the actual folklore is much more interesting by far.
Folklore
I’m sharing two interesting folktales concerning vampires.
The Pink Fairy Book by Andrew Lang [1897]
The Princess in the Chest
Translated from the Danish.
There were once a king and a queen who lived in a beautiful castle, and had a large, and fair, and rich, and happy land to rule over. From the very first they loved each other greatly, and lived very happily together, but they had no heir.
They had been married for seven years, but had neither son nor daughter, and that was a great grief to both of them. More than once it happened that when the king was in a bad temper, he let it out on the poor queen, and said that here they were now, getting old, and neither they nor the kingdom had an heir, and it was all her fault. This was hard to listen to, and she went and cried and vexed herself.
Finally, the king said to her one day, ‘This can’t be borne any longer. I go about childless, and it’s your fault. I am going on a journey and shall be away for a year. If you have a child when I come back again, all will be well, and I shall love you beyond all measure, and never more say an angry word to you. But if the nest is just as empty when I come home, then I must part with you.’
After the king had set out on his journey, the queen went about in her loneliness, and sorrowed and vexed herself more than ever. At last her maid said to her one day, ‘I think that some help could be found, if your majesty would seek it.’ Then she told about a wise old woman in that country, who had helped many in troubles of the same kind, and could no doubt help the queen as well, if she would send for her. The queen did so, and the wise woman came, and to her she confided her sorrow, that she, was childless, and the king and his kingdom had no heir.
The wise woman knew help for this. ‘Out in the king’s garden,’ said she, ‘under the great oak that stands on the left hand, just as one goes out from the castle, is a little bush, rather brown than green, with hairy leaves and long spikes. On that bush there are just at this moment three buds. If your majesty goes out there alone, fasting, before sunrise, and takes the middle one of the three buds, and eats it, then in six months you will bring a princess into the world. As soon as she is born, she must have a nurse, whom I shall provide, and this nurse must live with the child in a secluded part of the palace; no other person must visit the child; neither the king nor the queen must see it until it is fourteen years old, for that would cause great sorrow and misfortune.’
The queen rewarded the old woman richly, and next morning, before the sun rose, she was down in the garden, found at once the little bush with the three buds, plucked the middle one and ate it. It was sweet to taste, but afterwards was as bitter as gall. Six months after this, she brought into the world a little girl. There was a nurse in readiness, whom the wise woman had provided, and preparations were made for her living with the child, quite alone, in a secluded wing of the castle, looking out on the pleasure-park. The queen did as the wise woman had told her; she gave up the child immediately, and the nurse took it and lived with it there.
When the king came home and heard that a daughter had been born to him, he was of course very pleased and happy, and wanted to see her at once.
The queen had then to tell him this much of the story, that it had been foretold that it would cause great sorrow and misfortune if either he or she got a sight of the child until it had completed its fourteenth year.
This was a long time to wait. The king longed so much to get a sight of his daughter, and the queen no less than he, but she knew that it was not like other children, for it could speak immediately after it was born, and was as wise as older folk. This the nurse had told her, for with her the queen had a talk now and again, but there was no one who had ever seen the princess. The queen had also seen what the wise woman could do, so she insisted strongly that her warning should be obeyed. The king often lost his patience, and was determined to see his daughter, but the queen always put him off the idea, and so things went on, until the very day before the princess completed her fourteenth year.
The king and the queen were out in the garden then, and the king said, ‘Now I can’t and I won’t wait any longer. I must see my daughter at once. A few hours, more or less, can’t make any difference.’
The queen begged him to have patience till the morning. When they had waited so long, they could surely wait a single day more. But the king was quite unreasonable. ‘No nonsense,’ said he; ‘she is just as much mine as yours, and I will see her,’ and with that he went straight up to her room.
He burst the door open, and pushed aside the nurse, who tried to stop him, and there he saw his daughter. She was the loveliest young princess, red and white, like milk and blood, with clear blue eyes and golden hair, but right in the middle of her forehead there was a little tuft of brown hair.
The princess went to meet her father, fell on his neck and kissed him, but with that she said, ‘O father, father! what have you done now? to-morrow I must die, and you must choose one of three things: either the land must be smitten with the black pestilence, or you must have a long and bloody war, or you must as soon as I am dead, lay me
in a plain wooden chest, and set it in the church, and for a whole year place a sentinel beside it every night.’
The king was frightened indeed, and thought she was raving, but in order to please her, he said, ‘Well, of these three things I shall choose the last; if you die, I shall lay you at once in a plain wooden chest, and have it set in the church, and every night I shall place a sentinel beside it. But you shall not die, even if you are ill now.’
He immediately summoned all the best doctors in the country, and they came with all their prescriptions and their medicine bottles, but next day the princess was stiff and cold in death. All the doctors could certify to that and they all put their names to this and appended their seals, and then they had done all they could.
The king kept his promise. The princess’s body was lain the same day in a plain wooden chest, and set in the chapel of the castle, and on that night and every night after it, a sentinel was posted in the church, to keep watch over the chest.
The first morning when they came to let the sentinel out, there was no sentinel there. They thought he had just got frightened and run away, and next evening a new one was posted in the church. In the morning he was also gone. So it went every night. When they came in the morning to let the sentinel out, there was no one there, and it was impossible to discover which way he had gone if he had run away. And what should they run away for, every one of them, so that nothing more was over heard or seen of them, from the hour that they were set on guard beside the princess’s chest?
It became now a general belief that the princess’s ghost walked, and ate up all those who were to guard her chest, and very soon there was no one left who would be placed on this duty, and the king’s soldiers deserted the service,
before their turn came to be her bodyguard. The king then promised a large reward to the soldier who would volunteer for the post. This did for some time, as there were found a few reckless fellows, who wished to earn this good payment. But they never got it, for in the morning, they too had disappeared like the rest.
So it had gone on for something like a whole year; every night a sentinel had been placed beside the chest, either by compulsion or of his own free will, but not a single one of the sentinels was to be seen, either on the following day or any time thereafter. And so it had also gone with one, on the night before a certain day, when a merry young smith came wandering to the town where the king’s castle stood. It was the capital of the country, and people of every king came to it to get work. This smith, whose name was Christian, had come for that same purpose. There was no work for him in the place he belonged to, and he wanted now to seek a place in the capital.
There he entered an inn where he sat down in the public room, and got something to eat. Some under-officers were sitting there, who were out to try to get some one enlisted to stand sentry. They had to go in this way, day after day, and hitherto they had always succeeded in finding one or other reckless fellow. But on this day they had, as yet, found no one. It was too well known how all the sentinels disappeared, who were set on that post, and all that they had got hold of had refused with thanks. These sat down beside Christian, and ordered drinks, and drank along with him. Now Christian was a merry fellow who liked good company; he could both drink and sing, and talk and boast as well, when he got a little drop in his head. He told these under-officers that he was one of that kind of folk who never are afraid of anything. Then he was just the kind of
man they liked, said they, and he might easily earn a good penny, before he was a day older, for the king paid a hundred dollars to anyone who would stand as sentinel in the church all night, beside his daughter’s chest.
Christian was not afraid of that he wasn’t afraid of anything, so they drank another bottle of wine on this, and Christian went with them up to the colonel, where he was put into uniform with musket, and all the rest, and was then shut up in the church, to stand as sentinel that night.
It was eight o’clock when he took up his post, and for the first hour he was quite proud of his courage; during the second hour he was well pleased with the large reward that he would get, but in the third hour, when it was getting near eleven, the effects of the wine passed off, and he began to get uncomfortable, for he had heard about this post; that no one had ever escapeed alive from it, so far as was known. But neither did anyone know what had become of all the sentinels. The thought of this ran in his head so much, after the wine was out of it, that he searched about everywhere for a way of escape, and finally, at eleven o’clock, he found a little postern in the steeple which was not locked, and out at this he crept, intending to run away.
At the same moment as he put his foot outside the church door, he saw standing before him a little man, who said, ‘Good evening, Christian, where are you going?’
With that he felt as if he were rooted to the spot and could not move.
‘Nowhere,’ said he.
‘Oh, yes,’ said the little man, ‘You were just about to run away, but you have taken upon you to stand sentinel in the church to-night, and there you must stay.’
Christian said, very humbly, that he dared not, and therefore wanted to get away, and begged to be let go.
‘No,’ said the little one, ‘you must remain at your post, but I shall give you a piece of good advice; you shall go up into the pulpit, and remain standing there. You need never mind what you see or hear, it will not be able to do you any harm, if you remain in your place until you hear the lid of the chest slam down again behind the dead; then all danger is past, and you can go about the church, wherever you please.’
The little man then pushed him in at the door again, and locked it after him. Christian made haste to get up into the pulpit, and stood there, without noticing anything, until the clock struck twelve. Then the lid of the princess’s chest sprang up, and out of it there came something like the princess, dressed as you see in the picture. It shrieked and howled, ‘Sentry, where are you? Sentry, where are you? If you don’t come, you shall get the most cruel death anyone had ever got.’
It went all round the church, and when it finally caught sight of the smith, up in the pulpit, it came rushing thither and mounted the steps. But it could not get up the whole way, and for all that it stretched and strained, it could not touch Christian, who meanwhile stood and trembled up in the pulpit. When the clock struck one, the appearance had to go back into the chest again, and Christian heard the lid slam after it. After this there was dead silence in the church. He lay down where he was and fell asleep, and did not awake before it was bright daylight, and he heard steps outside, and the noise of the key being put into the lock. Then he came down from the pulpit, and stood with his musket in front of the princess’s chest.
It was the colonel himself who came with the patrol, and he was not a little surprised when he found the recruit safe
and sound. He wanted to have a report, but Christian would give him none, so he took him straight up to the king, and announced for the first time that here was the sentinel who had stood guard in the church over-night. The king immediately got out of bed, and laid the hundred dollars for him on the table, and then wanted to question him. ‘Have you seen anything?’ said he. ‘Have you seen my daughter?’ ‘I have stood at my post,’ said the young smith, ‘and that is quite enough; I undertook nothing more.’ He was not sure whether he dared tell what he had seen and heard, and besides he was also a little conceited because he had done what no other man had been able to do, or had had courage for. The king professed to be quite satisfied, and asked him whether he would engage himself to stand on guard again the following night. ‘No, thank you,’ said Christian, ‘I will have no more of that!’
‘As you please,’ said the king, ‘you have behaved like a brave fellow, and now you shall have your breakfast. You must be needing something to strengthen you after that turn.’
The king had breakfast laid for him, and sat down at the table with him in person; he kept constantly filling his glass for him and praising him, and drinking his health. Christian needed no pressing, but did full justice both to the food and drink, and not least to the latter. Finally he grew bold, and said that if the king would give him two hundred dollars for it, he was his man to stand sentry next night as well.
When this was arranged, Christian bade him ‘Good-day,’ and went down among the guards, and then out into the town along with other soldiers and under-officers. He had his pocket full of money, and treated them, and drank with them and boasted and made game of the good-for-
nothings who were afraid to stand on guard, because they were frightened that the dead princess would eat them. See whether she had eaten him! So the day passed in mirth and glee, but when eight o’clock came, Christian was again shut up in the church, all alone.
Before he had been there two hours, he got tired of it, and thought only of getting away. He found a little door behind the altar which was not locked, and at ten o’clock he slipped out at it, and took to his heels and made for the beach. He had got half-way thither, when all at once the same little man stood in front of him and said, ‘Good evening, Christian, where are you going?’ ‘I’ve leave to go where I please,’ said the smith, but at the same time he noticed that he could not move a foot. ‘No, you have undertaken to keep guard to-night as well,’ said the little man, ‘and you must attend to that.’ He then took hold of him, and however unwilling he was, Christian had to go with him right back to the same little door that he had crept out at. When they got there, the little man said to him, ‘Go in front of the altar now, and take in your hand the book that is lying there. There you shall stay till you hear the lid of the chest slam down over the dead. In that way you will come to no harm.’
With that the little man shoved him in at the door, and locked it. Christian then immediately went in front of the altar, and took the book in his hand, and stood thus until the clock struck twelve, and the appearance sprang out of the chest. ‘Sentry, where are you? Sentry, where are you?’ it shrieked, and then rushed to the pulpit, and right up into it. But there was no one there that night. Then it howled and shrieked again,
My father has set no sentry in,
War and Pest this night begin.
At the same moment, it noticed the smith standing in front of the altar, and came rushing towards him. ‘Are you there?’ it screamed; ‘now I’ll catch you.’ But it could not come up over the step in front of the altar, and there it continued to howl, and scream, and threaten, until the clock struck one, when it had to go into the chest again, and Christian heard the lid slam above it. That night, however, it had not the same appearance as on the previous one; it was less ugly.
When all was quiet in the church, the smith lay down before the altar and slept calmly till the following morning, when the colonel came to fetch him. He was taken up to the king again, and things went on as the day before. He got his money, but would give no explanation whether he had seen the king’s daughter, and he would not take the post again, he said. But after he had got a good breakfast, and tasted well of the king’s wines, he undertook to go on guard again the third night, but he would not do it for less than the half of the kingdom, he said, for it was a dangerous post, and the king had to agree, and promise him this.
The remainder of the day went like the previous one. He played the boastful soldier, and the merry smith, and he had comrades and boon-companions in plenty. At eight o’clock he had to put on his uniform again, and was shut up in the church. He had not been there for an hour before he had come to his senses, and thought, ‘It’s best to stop now, while the game is going well.’ The third night, he was sure, would be the worst; he had been drunk when he promised it, and the half of the kingdom, the king could never have been in earnest about that! So he decided to leave, without waiting so long as on the previous nights. In that way he would escape the little man who had watched him before. All the doors and posterns were locked, but he finally though of creeping up to a window, and opening
that, and as the clock struck nine, he crept out there. It was fairly high in the wall, but he got to the ground with no bones broken, and started to run. He got down to the shore without meeting anyone, and there he got into a boat, and pushed off from land. He laughed immensely to himself at the thought of how cleverly he had managed and how he had cheated the little man. Just then he heard a voice from the shore, ‘Good evening, Christian, where are you going?’ He gave no answer. ‘To-night your legs will be too short,’ he thought, and pulled at the oars. But he then felt something lay hold of the boat, and drag it straight in to shore, for all that he sat and struggled with the oars.
The man then laid hold of him, and said, ‘You must remain at your post, as you have promised,’ and whether he liked it or not, Christian had just to go back with him the whole way to the church.
He could never get in at that window again, Christian said; it was far too high up.
‘You must go in there, and you shall go in there,’ said the little man, and with that he lifted him up on to the window-sill. Then he said to him: ‘Notice well now what you have to do. This evening you must stretch yourself out on the left-hand side of her chest. The lid opens to the right, and she comes out to the left. When she has got out of the chest and passed over you, you must get into it and lie there, and that in a hurry, without her seeing you. There you must remain lying until day dawns, and whether she threatens you or entreats you, you must not come out of it, or give her any answer. Then she has no power over you, and both you and she are freed.’
The smith then had to go in at the window, just as he came out, and went and laid himself all his length on the left side of the princess’s chest, close up to it, and there he
lay stiff as a rock until the clock struck twelve. Then the lid sprang up to the right, and the princess came out, straight over him, and rushed round the church, howling and shrieking ‘Sentry, where are you? Sentry, where are you?’ She went towards the altar, and right up to it, but there was no one there; then she screamed again,
My father has set no sentry in,
War and Pest will now begin.
Then she went round the whole church, both up and down, sighing and weeping,
My father has set no sentry in,
War and Pest will now begin.
Then she went away again, and at the same moment the clock in the tower struck one.
Then the smith heard in the church a soft music, which grew louder and louder, and soon filled the whole building. He heard also a multitude of footsteps, as if the church was being filled with people. He heard the priest go through the service in front of the altar, and there was singing more beautiful than he had ever heard before. Then he also heard the priest offer up a prayer of thanksgiving because the land had been freed from war and pestilence, and from all misfortune, and the king’s daughter delivered from the evil one. Many voices joined in, and a hymn of praise was sung; then he heard the priest again, and heard his own name and that of the princess, and thought that he was being wedded to her. The church was packed full, but he could see nothing. Then he heard again the many footsteps as ol’ folk leaving the church, while the music sounded fainter and fainter, until it altogether died away. When it was silent, the light of day began to break in through the windows.
The smith sprang up out of the chest and fell on his knees and thanked God. The church was empty, but up in
front of the altar lay the princess, white and red, like a human being, but sobbing and crying, and shaking with cold in her white shroud. The smith took his sentry coat and wrapped it round her; then she dried her tears, and took his hand and thanked him, and said that he had now freed her from all the sorcery that had been in her from her birth, and which had come over her again when her father broke the command against seeing her until she had completed her fourteenth year.
She said further, that if he who had delivered her would take her in marriage, she would be his. If not, she would go into a nunnery, and he could marry no other as long as she lived, for he was wedded to her with the service of the dead, which he had heard.
She was now the most beautiful young princess that anyone could wish to see, and he was now lord of half the kingdom, which had been promised him for standing on guard the third nigh. So they agreed that they would have each other, and love each other all their days.
With the first sunbeam the watch came and opened the church, and not only was the colonel there, but the king in person, come to see what had happened to the sentinel. He found them both sitting hand in hand on the step in front of the altar, and immediately knew his daughter again, and took her in his arms, thanking God and her deliverer. He made no objections to what they had arranged, and so Christian the smith held his wedding with the princess, and got half the kingdom at once, and the whole of it when the king died.
As for the other sentries, with so many doors and windows open, no doubt they had run away, and gone into the Prussian service. And as for what Christian said he saw, he had been drinking more wine than was good for him.
Russian Fairy Tales: A Choice Collection of Muscovite Folk-lore by William Ralston Shedden-Ralston [1873]
The Fiend
In a certain country there lived an old couple who had a daughter called Marusia (Mary). In their village it was customary to celebrate the feast of St. Andrew the First-Called (November 30). The girls used to assemble in some cottage, bake pampushki,[19] and enjoy themselves for a whole week, or even longer. Well, the girls met together once when this festival arrived, and brewed and baked what was wanted. In the evening came the lads with the music, bringing liquor with them, and dancing and revelry commenced. All the girls danced well, but Marusia the best of all. After a while there came into the cottage such a fine fellow! Marry, come up! regular blood and milk, and smartly and richly dressed.
“Hail, fair maidens!” says he.
“Hail, good youth!” say they.
“Be so good as to join us.”
Thereupon he pulled out of his pocket a purse full of gold, ordered liquor, nuts and gingerbread. All was ready in a trice, and he began treating the lads and lasses, giving each a share. Then he took to dancing. Why, it was a treat to look at him! Marusia struck his fancy more than anyone else; so he stuck close to her. The time came for going home.
“Marusia,” says he, “come and see me off.”
She went to see him off.
“Marusia, sweetheart!” says he, “would you like me to marry you?”
“If you like to marry me, I will gladly marry you. But where do you come from?”
“From such and such a place. I’m clerk at a merchant’s.”
Then they bade each other farewell and separated. When Marusia got home, her mother asked her:
“Well, daughter! have you enjoyed yourself?”
“Yes, mother. But I’ve something pleasant to tell you besides. There was a lad there from the neighborhood, good-looking and with lots of money, and he promised to marry me.”
“Harkye Marusia! When you go to where the girls are to-morrow, take a ball of thread with you, make a noose in it, and, when you are going to see him off, throw it over one of his buttons, and quietly unroll the ball; then, by means of the thread, you will be able to find out where he lives.”
Next day Marusia went to the gathering, and took a ball of thread with her. The youth came again.
“Good evening, Marusia!” said he.
“Good evening!” said she.
Games began and dances. Even more than before did he stick to Marusia, not a step would he budge from her. The time came for going home.
“Come and see me off, Marusia!” says the stranger.
She went out into the street, and while she was taking leave of him she quietly dropped the noose over one of his buttons. He went his way, but she remained where she was, unrolling the ball. When she had unrolled the whole of it, she ran after the thread to find out where her betrothed lived. At first the thread followed the road, then it stretched across hedges and ditches, and led Marusia towards the church and right up to the porch. Marusia tried the door; it was locked. She went round the church, found a ladder, set it against a window, and climbed up it to see what was going on inside. Having got into the church, she looked—and saw her betrothed standing beside a grave and devouring a dead
body—for a corpse had been left for that night in the church.
She wanted to get down the ladder quietly, but her fright prevented her from taking proper heed, and she made a little noise. Then she ran home—almost beside herself, fancying all the time she was being pursued. She was all but dead before she got in. Next morning her mother asked her:
“Well, Marusia! did you see the youth?”
“I saw him, mother,” she replied. But what else she had seen she did not tell.
In the morning Marusia was sitting, considering whether she would go to the gathering or not.
“Go,” said her mother. “Amuse yourself while you’re young!”
So she went to the gathering; the Fiend was there already. Games, fun, dancing, began anew; the girls knew nothing of what had happened. When they began to separate and go homewards:
“Come, Marusia!” says the Evil One, “see me off.”
She was afraid, and didn’t stir. Then all the other girls opened out upon her.
“What are you thinking about? Have you grown so bashful, forsooth? Go and see the good lad off.”
There was no help for it. Out she went, not knowing what would come of it. As soon as they got into the streets he began questioning her:
“You were in the church last night?”
“And saw what I was doing there?”
“No.”
“Very well! To-morrow your father will die!”
Having said this, he disappeared.
Marusia returned home grave and sad. When she woke up in the morning, her father lay dead!
They wept and wailed over him, and laid him in the coffin. In the evening her mother went off to the priest’s, but Marusia remained at home. At last she became afraid of being alone in the house. “Suppose I go to my friends,” she thought. So she went, and found the Evil One there.
“Good evening, Marusia! why arn’t you merry?”
“How can I be merry? My father is dead!”
“Oh! poor thing!”
They all grieved for her. Even the Accursed One himself grieved; just as if it hadn’t all been his own doing. By and by they began saying farewell and going home.
“Marusia,” says he, “see me off.”
She didn’t want to.
“What are you thinking of, child?” insist the girls. “What are you afraid of? Go and see him off.”
So she went to see him off. They passed out into the street.
“Tell me, Marusia,” says he, “were you in the church?”
“No.”
“Did you see what I was doing?”
“No.”
“Very well! To-morrow your mother will die.”
He spoke and disappeared. Marusia returned home sadder than ever. The night went by; next morning, when she awoke, her mother lay dead! She cried all day long; but when the sun set, and it grew dark around, Marusia became afraid of being left alone; so she went to her companions.
“Why, whatever’s the matter with you? you’re clean out of countenance!”[21] say the girls.
“How am I likely to be cheerful? Yesterday my father died, and to-day my mother.”
“Poor thing! Poor unhappy girl!” they all exclaim sympathizingly.
Well, the time came to say good-bye. “See me off, Marusia,” says the Fiend. So she went out to see him off.
“Tell me; were you in the church?”
“No.”
“And saw what I was doing?”
“No.”
“Very well! To-morrow evening you will die yourself!”
Marusia spent the night with her friends; in the morning she got up and considered what she should do. She bethought herself that she had a grandmother—an old, very old woman, who had become blind from length of years. “Suppose I go and ask her advice,” she said, and then went off to her grandmother’s.
“Good-day, granny!” says she.
“Good-day, granddaughter! What news is there with you? How are your father and mother?”
“They are dead, granny,” replied the girl, and then told her all that had happened.
The old woman listened, and said:—
“Oh dear me! my poor unhappy child! Go quickly to the priest, and ask him this favor—that if you die, your body shall not be taken out of the house through the doorway, but that the ground shall be dug away from under the threshold, and that you shall be dragged out through that opening. And also beg that you may be buried at a crossway, at a spot where four roads meet.”
Marusia went to the priest, wept bitterly, and made him promise to do everything according to her grandmother’s
instructions. Then she returned home, bought a coffin, lay down in it, and straightway expired.
Well, they told the priest, and he buried, first her father and mother, and then Marusia herself. Her body was passed underneath the threshold and buried at a crossway.
Soon afterwards a seigneur’s son happened to drive past Marusia’s grave. On that grave he saw growing a wondrous flower, such a one as he had never seen before. Said the young seigneur to his servant:—
“Go and pluck up that flower by the roots. We’ll take it home and put it in a flower-pot. Perhaps it will blossom there.”
Well, they dug up the flower, took it home, put it in a glazed flower-pot, and set it in a window. The flower began to grow larger and more beautiful. One night the servant hadn’t gone to sleep somehow, and he happened to be looking at the window, when he saw a wondrous thing take place. All of a sudden the flower began to tremble, then it fell from its stem to the ground, and turned into a lovely maiden. The flower was beautiful, but the maiden was more beautiful still. She wandered from room to room, got herself various things to eat and drink, ate and drank, then stamped upon the ground and became a flower as before, mounted to the window, and resumed her place upon the stem. Next day the servant told the young seigneur of the wonders which he had seen during the night.
“Ah, brother!” said the youth, “why didn’t you wake me? To-night we’ll both keep watch together.”
The night came; they slept not, but watched. Exactly at twelve o’clock the blossom began to shake, flew from place to place, and then fell to the ground, and the beautiful maiden appeared, got herself things to eat and drink, and sat down to supper. The young seigneur rushed forward and seized her by her white hands. Impossible was it for him sufficiently to look at her, to gaze on her beauty!
Next morning he said to his father and mother, “Please allow me to get married. I’ve found myself a bride.”
His parents gave their consent. As for Marusia, she said:
“Only on this condition will I marry you—that for four years I need not go to church.”
Well, they were married, and they lived together one year, two years, and had a son. But one day they had visitors at their house, who enjoyed themselves, and drank, and began bragging about their wives. This one’s wife was handsome; that one’s was handsomer still.
“You may say what you like,” says the host, “but a handsomer wife than mine does not exist in the whole world!”
“Handsome, yes!” reply the guests, “but a heathen.”
“How so?”
“Why, she never goes to church.”
Her husband found these observations distasteful. He waited till Sunday, and then told his wife to get dressed for church.
“I don’t care what you may say,” says he. “Go and get ready directly.”
Well, they got ready, and went to church. The husband went in—didn’t see anything particular. But when she looked round—there was the Fiend sitting at a window.
“Ha! here you are, at last!” he cried. “Remember old times. Were you in the church that night?”
“No.”
“And did you see what I was doing there?”
“No.”
“Very well! To-morrow both your husband and your son will die.”
Marusia rushed straight out of the church and away to her grandmother. The old woman gave her two phials, the one full of holy water, the other of the water of life, and told her what she was to do. Next day both Marusia’s husband and her son died. Then the Fiend came flying to her and asked:—
“Tell me; were you in the church?”
“I was.”
“And did you see what I was doing?”
“You were eating a corpse.”
She spoke, and splashed the holy water over him; in a moment he turned into mere dust and ashes, which blew to the winds. Afterwards she sprinkled her husband and her boy with the water of life: straightway they revived. And from that time forward they knew neither sorrow nor separation, but they all lived together long and happily.
Vampires appear in the news:
‘Vampires’ strike Malawi villages [BBC, Monday, 23 December, 2002, 23:40 GMT]
Rumours of people being attacked for their blood have swept southern areas of Malawi.
Terrified villagers have left their fields untended, too scared of becoming the next victims of the mysterious blood-suckers.
President Bakili Muluzi has joined other officials in trying to calm fears and has said the rumours are unfounded and a plot to undermine the government.
But residents have been taking the law into their own hands, killing one man thought to be a human vampire and badly injuring three others.
Some people – mainly women and children – have come forward to say they have been victims of the blood-thieves.
One woman showed journalists a mark on her arm where she said a needle was inserted to draw her blood.
The alleged attacks have taken place over the last three weeks in Blantyre as well as the districts of Thyolo, Mulanje and Chiradzulu.
Strangers are becoming victims of vigilantes as villagers are wary of anyone who is not known in their area.
One man was stoned to death after being suspected of working with the vampires.
In Thyolo, villagers attacked three Roman Catholic priests who were strangers to the area.
They were beaten and detained overnight before a woman recognised one of them as a priest.
‘Malicious stories’
Police and government officials have visited the areas hit by the stories to try to calm fears.
Mr Muluzi, back from a private visit to Britain, has now joined that campaign.
He said he had been told the rumours had been spread by “malicious and irresponsible” members of the opposition.
He had learnt the stories included claims that his government was colluding with international aid agencies to supply them with human blood in exchange for food aid.
“No government can go about sucking blood of its own people,” said the president. “That’s thuggery.”
He said there would be severe punishment for the unnamed opposition politicians once they were caught.
I had some fun with the research for this one. Here are some of the books that were on my TBR until now:
Vampires: The Myths, Legends and Lore by Aubrey Sherman
The term vampire wasn’t typically used in folklore but first appeared in English references in the late 1600s. Author Katherine Ramsland notes that a description of vampires as “reanimated corpses” appeared in 1810, in Travels of Three English Gentlemen, from Venice to Hamburg, Being the Grand Tour of Germany, in the Year 1734.
The majority of vampires of folklore aren’t pristine, white-skinned, radiant beings. Most are reanimated corpses in various states of disarray and decay. Whether plague victim, noble, or ordinary farmer, all measure of humanity has been burned away. What links all vampires is their ability to inspire fear in humans. Fear is a powerful element of the human psyche, one that—like a vampire—feeds off our imaginations and lies patiently waiting in the dark corners of our minds. Vampires thrive on fear and the power it gives them.
In 1672 in Croatia, a vampire in the village of Kringa was giving locals much trouble. He was the spirit of a peasant from the area who returned from the dead and began to drink the blood of his fellow peasants. In this instance, a stake through the heart failed to dispose of him, and the villagers had to cut off the vampire’s head before he was successfully vanquished. The case was noted in 1689 by the Slovene geographer Janez Vajkard Valvasor and is the first recorded case of vampirism in European history. Today, it is commemorated by the Vampir coffee bar in the center of town.
Like garlic, the rowan tree, commonly known as the mountain ash, is believed to repel the undead. Its wood is used to make crosses or in gravesites to keep a vampire at bay. Also, those who avoid going near mountain ash could be viewed as vampiric suspects.
*More can be read in the book.
The Everything Vampire Book: From Vlad the Impaler to the Vampire Lestat – a History of Vampires in Literature, Film, and Legend by Barb Karg, Arjean Spaite, and Rick Sutherland
Oddly enough, there doesn’t seem to be an expert consensus as to what a group of vampires is called. Throughout film and both fiction and nonfiction they’re variously referred to as a clutch, a brood, or a coven. In folklore, they’re often referred to as a pack, while in some arenas they are also known as a clan or divided into bloodlines.
Unlike seductive and dashingly debonair bloodsuckers, or the sultry, vixenish vamps of popular culture, the blood drinker of European lore was invariably hideously ugly and foul smelling, and absolutely the last creature on earth you’d want passionately nibbling your neck in the middle of the night. While legends of horrific nightcrawlers permeated nearly all of Europe, it was eastern Europe that gave birth to the lore that has evolved into the mythology of modern society.
The mainstays of rural Slovakian and Czech vampire folklore are known as upir or the parallel nelapsi, both of which are the revived and rotting corpses of the recently deceased. The upir is believed to be particularly troublesome because it’s thought to have two hearts and two souls, and will suck the blood from its victims, often suffocating them with a crushing embrace. What’s worse, the upir not only spreads deadly disease, but it can kill with a glance from its evil eye. According to one report in the early 1700s, the people in a Bohemian village of what is now the Czech Republic drove a stake into the corpse of a suspected upir. The hideous creature merely laughed and thanked them for giving him a stick to fight off pesky dogs. The startled villagers quickly solved their vampiric dilemma by burning the corpse.
*More can be read in the book.
Encyclopedia of Vampire Mythology by Theresa Bane
Dhampire (DOM- peer)
Variations: Dhampir, Dhampyr, Dhampyri, LAMPIJEROVIC (feminine), Vamphile, VAMPIJEROVIC (masculine), VAMPIR (masculine), VAMPIRDZHIJA, Vampiritc, Vampirovitch, Vampuiera (feminine), Vampuira
The Gypsy lore from Eastern Europe claims that if the child of a woman and a male mullo vampire is not stillborn, it will be a dhampire, a natural- born vampire hunter. In almost all cases the dhampire is male (females are called dhampiresa), but no matter the gender, they tend to have a shorter lifespan than humans. This is because a dhampire does not have any bones in its body but rather a thick rubberlike substance instead. Usually the dhampire has a restless spirit and becomes a wanderer, and because of this, and the fact that he is also the child of a vampire, he is generally distrusted. Even if he should be an established member of a community, his ability to hunt and destroy vampires will be respected, but he will have no social or political power among his people.
The dhampire does not have any of the vampiric abilities of his vampire father. He has no enhanced senses, regenerative abilities, nor is he a shape- shifter; not only is he not immortal, he does not even have slowed ageing. What he can do is see a vampire for the creature that it is, even if it is invisible. He is also able to destroy a vampire without having to use a special weapon. For instance, if a vampire can only be slain by being stabbed through the heart with a stake made of ash, the dhampire can use a stake made of any material. He can even extend this ability to his gun and shoot a vampire while it lies at rest in its grave.
Erinnye
Variations: Dirae, Ériyes, Érynies
A vampiric spirit from ancient Greece, the erinnye is always female, distinguished by her fiery eyes and snakes living in her HAIR. Her name, erinnye, translates to mean “to punish, punisher,” and she is indeed very good at this task, as the erinnye specializes in killing only those who commit murder. The erinnye will first drive the murderer insane before killing him, making a meal of his remains. Erinnye were seen by the ancient Greeks as performing a public service. In ancient Roman times they were called dirae, which means “the terrible.”
Aswang Mannananggal (AZ- wang Man- ah- non-gil)
Variations: Manananggal, Mannannagel
This VAMPIRIC WITCH gets its name from a derivative of the Tagalog word TANGGAL, which means “to separate.” Rather unique for a vampire, this creature creates more of its own kind by tricking a woman into drinking the cooked blood of another person. Once the victim has been converted and transformed, the creature will look like a typical woman with long HAIR, but on nights of the full moon it will transform into its true form. Sprouting large, leathery, batlike wings with long clawed hands and a maw full of fanged teeth, the aswang mannananggal rips its upper body away from its lower and takes flight to hunt out its prey—unborn children from their mother’s womb. Should it not be able to find a suitable meal, it will temporarily sate its appetite by dining on human entrails.
Like the ASEMA and the ASIMAN who can remove the skin from their bodies, and the PENANGGLAN who can also separate its body, the aswang mannananggal is also only vulnerable when it is separated. The only way to destroy this vampire is to find where its lower body is hidden and rub it with GARLIC or SALT, which will destroy it. When the upper and otherwise invulnerable half returns at dawn to rejoin itself, it will be unable to. When the sun rises, the upper half will revert to its human form and die.
*More can be read in the book.
The Vampire Book: The Encyclopedia of the Undead by J Gordon Melton
In the Bible’s book of Leviticus, chapter 17, verse 14, it is written: “You shall not eat the blood of any flesh at all, because the life of the flesh is in the blood, and whosoever eateth it shall be cut off.” That is the pitiable state of the vampire: to be cut off, cut off from the living and cut off from the dead. He or she is forced to live in a half-world, a lonely isolated existence of darkness and horror, driven solely by a fierce, uncontrollable lust for blood. Like the amphibian who can live both in the water and on land, the vampire can freely cross the border between the graveyard and the realm of living beings, yet the vampire is a prisoner agonizingly torn between the two worlds, a creature trapped in the depths of evil. The vampire is the outcast, the outlaw, the dangerous outsider who flagrantly violates all of society’s norms. Vampires are the tragic rebels of the night who rage against the finality of death only to find that they must take life in order to prolong their own semblance of it. This powerful portrait of vampires is just a part of what makes them such compelling figures to mere mortals.
Our modern conception of a vampire began as a terrifying superstition that was once rampant in Eastern Europe for hundreds of years. The people of that region truly believed that these revenants could come back from the grave to drain the life out of the living. Over the centuries this strange belief has evolved into a dark romantic fantasy in fiction, film, and other media. The vampire has now become an expression of the dark side of human nature. They can represent mystery, danger, darkness, aggression, death, and all kinds of forbidden desires. In many ways the vampire is the grand archetype of all the dark, repressed urges in the human heart.
The common dictionary definition of a vampire serves as a starting point for inquiry. A vampire is a reanimated corpse that rises from the grave to suck the blood of living people and thus retain a semblance of life. That description certainly fits Dracula, the most famous vampire, but is only a starting point and quickly proves inadequate in approaching the realm of vampire folklore. By no means do all vampires conform to that definition.
For example, while the subject of vampires almost always leads to a discussion of death, all vampires are not resuscitated corpses. Numerous vampires are disembodied demonic spirits. In this vein are the numerous vampires and vampire-like demons of Indian mythology and the lamiai of Greece. Vampires can also appear as the disembodied spirit of a dead person who retains a substantial existence; like many reported ghosts, these vampires can be mistaken for a fully embodied living corpse. Likewise, in the modern secular literary context, vampires sometimes emerge as a different species of intelligent life (possibly from outer space or the product of genetic mutation) or to otherwise normal human beings who have an unusual habit (such as blood-drinking) or an odd power (such as the ability to drain people emotionally).
A few animals, particularly cats and horses, were also believed to have a special relationship to vampires. It was thought in many Eastern European countries that if one allowed an animal such as a cat to jump over the corpse of a dead person prior to burial, the person would return as a vampire. (This belief emphasized the necessity of the deceased’s loved ones to properly mourn, prepare, and care for the body.) The horse, on the other hand, was frequently used to locate a vampire. Brought to the graveyard, the horse would be led around various graves in the belief that it would hesitate and refuse to cross over the body of a vampire.
VAMPIRES: A CHRONOLOGY [Full chronology in book. These are merely the ones that intrigued me.]
1047 First appearance of the word “upir” (an early form of the word later to become “vampire”) in a document referring to a Russian prince as “Upir Lichy”, or wicked vampire.
1196 William of Newburgh’s “Chronicles” records several stories of vampire like revenants in England.
1610 [Elizabeth] Bathory is arrested for killing several hundred people and bathing in their blood. Tried and convicted, she is sentenced to life imprisonment, being bricked into a room in her castle.
1657 Fr. Françoise Richard’s “Relation de ce qui s’est passé a Sant-Erini Isle de l’Archipel” links vampirism and witchcraft.
1734 The word “vampyre” enters the English language in translations of German accounts of European waves of vampire hysteria.
1874 Reports from Ceven, Ireland, tell of sheep having their throats cut and their blood drained.
*More can be read in the book.
From Demons to Dracula: The Creation of the Modern Vampire Myth by Matthew Beresford
In Ireland there is evidence of the practice of placing stones on top of graves to prevent the deceased returning after death to the world of the living, a practice similar to the construction of cairns in the prehistoric period. The lamiae of Rome and Greece assumed the form of beautiful young women who would ensnare unwary young men and attempt to devour them; a serpent- woman is famously depicted in Keats’s poem ‘Lamia’. All these examples and beliefs, however, stem from the ancient traditions that laid the foundations for the modern vampire.
One of the first signs of putrefaction is a bloating of the body, and this occurrence is evident in a great number of ‘vampire’ cases whereby a suspected vampire is exhumed, only to be found in a bloated state, as if gorged on fresh blood. The gas that builds up within a putrefying body enters the blood cells and causes the skin to change colour, from a greenish hue through to purple and finally black, again witnessed in vampire traditions, where the skin of vampires takes on a deathly shade of purplish white. The release of these gases when a body is punctured, by a wooden stake for example, can also be used to explain the horrific smells attributed to the destruction of a vampire.
*More can be read in the book.
The Element Encyclopedia of Magical Creatures by John & Caitlín Matthews
Vampire
Vampires are the living corpses of the undead who, instead of giving back their bodies to the earth, fire, air or water and decomposing in the usual way, are animated by their own or another spirit to drink blood or draw energy, goodness or virtue from the living. Those who have been bitten and thus infected by a vampire become vampires themselves when they are dead. Vampires are thus predatory upon the life-energy of the living and have a vested interest in maintaining their own half-life by such methods. In European lore, vampires return to their coffins at daybreak, when the cockerel crows or when church bells ring.
When the Spanish conquistadors invaded South America in the 16th century and began to explore its legends and fauna, they discovered both the bat-god Camazotz who lived in underground caverns and sucked the blood of the living, as well as the real vampire bat, which does in fact suck the blood of animals – though rarely that of humans.
*More can be read in the book.
Further Reading:
- V is for Vampirism
- Vampires: Folklore, fantasy and fact
- Dracula: The First Modern Vampire
- Yara-ma-yha-who: Australia’s Regurgitating, Blood-Sucking Monster
- Adze: the Shapeshifting Firefly from West Africa
- Manananggal: The Flying, Disembodied, Blood Sucking Nightmare
- Pontianak: The Vengeful, Violent Vampiric Ghost of Southeast Asia
- vampire
- Vampire
- Vampire folklore by region
- Vampire History
- Vampire
- 3 Real Diseases That Influenced Vampire Folklore
- The vampire Abhartach
- Vampire
- Strigoi
- Moroi
Folklore in a Nutshell by Ronel
The word “vampire” is rarely used in vampire folklore, rather “revenant” or “undead” along with the names given to these creatures are used. It is usually a blood-sucking fiend, though feeding on the life-force of its victim also counts.
The first vampire tales are connected to revenants, those who reanimate after death because of unfinished business, and then feed on their neighbours, etc. These were dark creatures, thought to be pure evil. The way to prove that what they saw was real, graves were dug up. Because the body loses fluid during decomposition, the hair and fingernails seem longer, the stomach bloats because of bacteria, and blood – as well as other fluids – leak from the mouth. This, though, to those who dug up graves, gave credence to the walking dead as all this seemed to them as proof that the dead person was indeed roaming around and feeding on blood.
The way to protect oneself from these creatures, as they were pure evil, was to have religious artefacts upon your person, such as a crucifix or holy water, that burns the vampire much like acid burns the human skin. Garlic and salt were also used to great effect – garlic, as it repels mosquitoes, another type of vampire, and salt as it is a pure substance.
The way vampires were perceived, changed through culture, place and time to reflect what the community needed protection from the most.
For the most part, the vampire in folklore is a glamorous stranger who leads unsuspecting young women to their doom. Which is how the vampire is used for social control, especially of young women, to listen to their elders and not run off with handsome strangers.
This is just one way that the idea of the vampire shifts to fit the culture and issues of the time.
Vampires were also used to describe some real diseases – such as rabies – that causes a person to be sensitive to light.
A lot of the time, because vampires appear human and mainly attack humans, it also personifies human violence.
Vampire fiction boomed in the 1800s and thereafter, especially after the publication of Stoker’s “Dracula”. Until “Interview with the Vampire” by Anne Rice in the late 1970s, vampires were as shallow as kiddie’s pools and had black hearts to match their dark natures. But since Rice’s novel, vampires across fiction started to have proper backstories, live full lives, be tortured by their existence, and fall in love. All these vampires were affected by the sun – usually bursting into flames – and could be killed by decapitation or a wooden stake to the heart. “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” fully encompassed this turn in vampire fiction, having the teenage vampire slayer fall in love with not just one, but two vampires. And let’s not forget the deeper connection between vampires and witches in “The Vampire Diaries” where it was a witch who created the first vampires to begin with…
For the most part, the fiction mentioned above drew from actual folklore to create their vampires. There are many tales of witches being vampires – especially in Africa, though there are tales of this kind in Portugal, Albania and more. A wooden stake through the heart was a sure way to keep a vampire in its coffin, though beheading worked too. And as vampires supposedly slept in their coffins during the day, it made sense that they feared the sun – and light, as they were creatures of the dark.
Whether a metaphor for the darkness within each of us, or real monsters out to feed off the life-force of humans, vampires have enthralled humans since the beginning of time. Though known by various names throughout history, it is now forevermore “vampire”; the word which shocks, seduces and frightens.
Vampires in Modern Culture
There is a lot to choose from, but I chose these examples as they span different types of vampires while still staying true to folklore to an extent.
Film
Dracula (1992) based on the novel by the same name.
The novel by Bram Stoker was based on various vampire legends and became the basis of an entire genre in literature, film and television (among others). Watch it, if you haven’t already, and then delve into the retellings of this tale.
Hotel Transylvania
Vampires are long-living mythical creatures that are known for transforming into bats and drinking blood. Vampires typically look just like normal humans, except they have fangs, sharp nails, black hair, pale skin and in some cases pointed ears.
Learn more here.
TV series
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
I grew up watching this series…
Vampire was a species of soulless,[3]undead[4]demons[3] that could only exist on Earth by leaving their own dimension and possessing human corpses.[5] Thus, they were considered hybrids[6] and in general looked down by other, “purer” demon species.[7][8] Though undead, they required mammalian blood to maintain their health.[9]
While vampires were immune to a number of things that would kill humans, vampires had a number of weakness that could destroy or repel them. They could be killed when impaled in the heart with a wooden object, beheaded, exposed to direct sunlight, or consumed by fire.
When vampires died, their bodies and clothing turned into dust in a matter of seconds, which was usually followed by a high-pitched scream. This phenomenon was referred to as “dusting” vampires.
Learn more here.
I can’t talk about vampires without mentioning The Vampire Diaries!
Vampires are magically reanimated human corpses which are inhabited by the spirits of the deceased person and who closely resemble the living human they were before their transformation. Vampires feed and survive on the blood of the living, typically on that of humans, and they can also transform other humans into more of their kind by sharing their own blood with them. Vampires are one of the many known supernatural species that were created by witches, albeit through the creation of their progenitors, the Original vampires.
Learn more here.
Books
There’s a vampire in Neil Gaiman’s The Graveyard Book. (My Review)
Bod put a hand into the empty trunk, touched the silk lining, touched dried earth.
The Graveyard Book, Neil Gaiman
‘Is this where you sleep?’ he asked.
‘When I’m far from my house, yes,’ said Silas.
Bloodlines and Vampire Academy series by Richelle Mead revolves around various types of vampires. (My Review)
“We have a situation,” I heard Stanton say. Finally, I’d get some answers. “With the Moroi.”
Bloodlines by Richelle Mead
I breathed a small sigh of relief. Better them than the Strigoi. Any “situation” the Alchemists faced always involved one of the vampire races, and I’d take the living, non-killing ones any day. They almost seemed human at times (though I’d never tell anyone here that) and lived and died like we did. Strigoi, however, were twisted freaks of nature. They were undead, murderous vampires created either when a Strigoi forcibly made a victim drink its blood or when a Moroi purposely took the life of another through blood drinking. A situation with the Strigoi usually ended with someone dead.
The Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black has a vampire infestation. (My Review)
There had been plenty of books and films romanticizing vampires over the last century. It was only a matter of time before a vampire started romanticizing himself. Crazy, romantic Caspar decided that unlike decades of ancient, hidebound vampires, he wouldn’t kill his victims. He would seduce them, drink a little blood, and move on, from city to city. By the time the old vampires caught up with him and ripped him to pieces, he’d already infected hundreds of people. And those new vampires, with no idea how to prevent the spread, infected thousands.
The Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black
Vampires in My Writing
Origin of the Fae: Vampires
There are various types of vampires, but they all have some things in common.
They are dead, or rather, undead. Burn in the sun despite protective amulets. Turn others by giving them their blood and killing them. Their blood has healing powers, though rarely used because of the little side-effect of accidentally turning someone if they were to die with the blood in their system. Row of pointed fangs behind regular teeth – like needles more than teeth, though it can be hidden. Red-brown eyes, though can look human. Turn instantly to ash in sun without protective amulets.
Sleep in nests they make in sand (underground). Though some have retained more humanity and live among humans, taking protective measures to stay safe from the sun.
Uncontrollable bloodlust. When bloodlust overtakes them, they shed all semblance of humanity, with a gaping maw showing off their unnatural teeth, glowing yellow eyes searching for prey, screeching instead of regular voice, nails extending to claws, and skin mottling like a corpse. If starving, they’ll desiccate and mummify – blood will revive them. Need at least two litres of human blood a day. Cannot eat anything else. Not even animal blood. Travel in packs – easier to survive being hunted. Even those who prefer living among humans stay in covens for protection.
Unnatural speed, strength and senses (can hear and see better than their prey). And they are attractive to their prey.
They have an uncomfortable alliance with witches.
Mortal enemies: Werewolves and Ghouls.
Vampire translated to Afrikaans: Vampier.
I can totally see them going from attractive to monstrous…
See this fae in action in my writing:
Dark Fae (Origin of the Fae #7)
Remember that you can request all of my books from your local library!
Where did you hear about Vampires for the first time? Which kind terrifies you the most? Any folklore about vampires you’d like to add? Check out my Pinterest board dedicated to the subject.
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No-one writes about the fae like Ronel Janse van Vuuren.
The characters do sound interesting, but I couldn’t read vampire stories. They give me nightmares. Even the pictures you posted on your site are too chilling for me. But alas, I must forward this blog post to my daughter, who is a vampire-loving reader. 🙂
LOL. I sometimes scare myself 🙂
I love vampires is in fiction. Vampires and zombies. theres something about reanimated monsters that is bizarrely entertaining to me.