A is for Artemis

I’m doing folklore and book review posts to reach and please a larger audience. Previous years have shown select interest in both and to minimise blogging throughout the year, I’m focusing my efforts on April.

Focusing on an A to Z of my TBR (to be read) list, each letter will have books starting with that letter on my list, a book I’ve read and reviewed (with the review!) and one of my books matching the letter with a link about more info about the book.

I chose the books this year quite randomly from my Goodreads Want to Read page. Some are quite creatively added to letters.

If you’d rather check out my folklore post for today, go here.

You can read reviews for from previous years for this letter here and here, and my year-end reviews here, here, here and, most recently, here.

My TBR

I decided to look at my physical book shelf to see if there are any books I haven’t yet reviewed on Goodreads. As it turned out, this series I enjoyed over a decade ago still needed reviews. The covers below are the ones on my Puffin paperbacks. I think all the civil unrest in my country — especially with tweens and teens getting involved in riots and looting — has dulled the excitement of a juvenile criminal genius and marred my enjoyment of the series.

About the Book

Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer

Rumour has it ARTEMIS FOWL is responsible for every major crime of the new century.

Just twelve years old and already he’s a criminal genius, plotting to restore his family’s fortune with a spot of corruption and kidnapping.

Kidnapping a fairy for ransom, to be precise.

Artemis Fowl has discovered a world below ground of armed and dangerous — and extremely high-tech — fairies. But he may have underestimated their powers. They will fight back. Is the boy about to trigger a cross-species war?

Let the misadventure begin.

Check it out on Goodreads.

My Review

When I first read this book over a decade ago, I thoroughly enjoyed it. This time around, not as much. The narrative flaws (jumping POVs, introducing new POV characters late in the story, the narrator telling the reader thing, etc.) detracted from my enjoyment of the novel. And the obvious sexism of having Holly as the first and only female LEPrecon and as the victim of Artemis Fowl’s scheme for riches… Grr. In that sense, the film was much better (Commander Root is played by Judy Dench). And why does this Irish boy have the name of a Greek goddess?

The premise of the story is good, so, too, is the pacing.

But while a decade ago I thought it cute that Artemis used his intellect to defraud another species most believe imaginary, I now worry about the morality of having 12-year-old criminal masterminds… Is that really what we want to teach children? Again, the film side-stepped this issue by making Artemis more of a hero: trying to save his father instead of extracting a ransom from the People for the sake of money.

I’ll continue the series solely based on past enjoyment and that I currently enjoy the world-building.

Trigger warnings: murder of animals, kidnapping, extortion, graphic fight scene with loads of violence and gore, mental health issues, sexism.

About the Book

Artemis Fowl and the Arctic Incident by Eoin Colfer

Artemis’s father has been missing for almost two years. His location? The Arctic Circle, where the Russian Mafiya are holding him prisoner. Now Artemis must execute a daring rescue operation to get his father back.

But that’s not his only problem. Since abducting one of an underground race of armed and dangerous fairies, Artemis has become their prime suspect for any human wrongdoing. Elfin Captain Holly Short has accused him of supplying illegal human power cells (aka AAA batteries) to the goblin gangs. There’s going to be a terrifying uprising – but at least it will get Artemis away from his computer and he’ll meet some new people.

It’s just a pity most of them want to kill him. 

Check it out on Goodreads.

My Review

If one can look past the narrative flaws (jumping POV multiple times in a scene, telling the villain’s story, etc.) it is an enjoyable book. I especially liked the lesson on radiation.

There’s loads of action, drama and shenanigans.

But having the only genius fairy female as the villain? Not cool. At least Holly didn’t need rescuing this time.

It’s better than the previous book, even if some things bugged me. Mulch is my favourite character.

I’ll continue this series based on past enjoyment and the small joys I’ve found this read-through.

About the Book

Artemis Fowl and the Eternity Code by Eoin Colfer

Artemis Fowl is attempting to go straight. But there’s always time for one last job.

Artemis Fowl has created the most powerful new supercomputer known to man – using stolen technology from an elite race of underground fairies.

And when the computer falls into the hands of an IT billionaire with a shady past and an alleged mob connection, Artemis is in deep trouble. The consequences for humans and fairies alike are deadly. Only one person, well, fairy, can help him now.

If only Artemis Fowl wasn’t the fairies’ public enemy number one…

Check it out on Goodreads.

My Review

So Artemis is thrown into a dessert cart, gets covered in creamy deliciousness – ruining his suit – yet he goes to Harrods and then a doctor’s office without changing clothes or having anyone remark about the state he’s in. Really? And why does he keep saying mademoiselle to the women he encounters?

The italics used for his diary entries messed with my eyes and gave me a headache. Publishers, please stop using huge blocks of italics! And decorative font for notes…

I found the jab at the brainless muscle-bound thugs being upright Rottweilers quite offensive. Rottweilers are intelligent, gentle, protective creatures when raised with love – mine sleep in my bed with me – and it is human brutality that turn their size and strength towards violence. Please stop with these harmful stereotypes.

For the most part, I enjoyed the cat-and-mouse game Artemis played with Spiro. The tech was fun and still more advanced than what we have today. Artemis was even becoming a likeable character. Until the twist at the end that gives me the impression that things will once again revert to chaos and that Mulch with his gas and humour will be badly needed.

An okay book with a couple of LOL Mulch moments and POV issues.

Trigger warnings: mind control, bias against Rottweilers, harmful stereotypes (especially regarding little people)

About the Book

Artemis Fowl and the Opal Deception by Eoin Colfer

CHILD GENIUS ARTEMIS FOWL IS IN TERRIBLE DANGER
HE JUST CAN’T REMEMBER WHY

Opal Koboi is back, and the power-crazed pixie wants revenge. Her to-do list:

– Frame Holly Short for murder
– Start a war between fairies and humans
– Kill anyone who’s ever annoyed her (yes, this includes Artemis)

But knowledge of the fairies has been erased from Artemis’s mind, and when you don’t believe your arch-enemy exists, it can be quite tricky to defeat them.

It’s unfortunate that Artemis’s only hope is a farting dwarf. Enter Mulch Diggums . . .

Check it out on Goodreads.

My Review

A much better book than the previous ones with loads of worldbuilding, character growth and more enemies.

The death that caused everything else to be set in motion was quite graphic and an emotional punch – brilliantly crafted and connected one more with Holly.

The POV jumping is still there, but I’m used to it now, even if I still find it annoying. (Probably why it took almost four books to bond with Holly and tolerate Artemis.)

Mulch stays my favourite.

An action-packed story with loads of Mulch moments of levity.

Trigger warnings: murder of a loved-one, mind control, falsely accused

About the Book

Artemis Fowl and the Lost Colony by Eoin Colfer

Ten millennia ago, the fairy People were defeated in a great battle with mankind, forcing them to move underground. Only the eighth family of fairies remained undefeated: the demons. But now one demon has discovered the secrets of the fairy world, and if humans get hold of this information the fairies are in BIG trouble. Only one person can prevent this disaster – teenage criminal mastermind Artemis Fowl.

Check it out on Goodreads.

My Review

I enjoyed No1 and the way he saw the world. I think having his scenes without the POV jump that is rampant throughout this series was what added to my enjoyment.

Not too crazy about the lost fairy race being demons, but knowing fairy mythology well, it makes sense. Though I just classified them as Unseelie fae…

I would have liked more of Mulch in the book, as he is my favourite, but he did make a fantastic appearance.

Minerva was a fun addition to the many intellectual rivals Artemis has.

A fun story with some great twists and good worldbuilding.

About the Book

Artemis Fowl and the Time Paradox by Eoin Colfer

Teenage criminal mastermind Artemis Fowl has a new mission – and this time it’s personal. Artemis’s mother is dangerously ill, and the only way to find a cure is for Artemis – with Holly Short by his side – to go back in time to battle his younger, more evil self . . .

Check it out on Goodreads.

My Review

I really liked this book: not only does it explain why Artemis went after the fae in the first place, but also how our actions and inactions can change our pasts and our presents and our futures. As Artemis said: it’s enough to give one a headache. LOL.

The addition of the Kraken was a fun one. That is one huge fart joke!

Making Artemis slightly older and Holly slightly younger, essentially making them the same age, changed the dynamics between them and added a layer to their relationship that can only be in another time… It added a layer of depth to the otherwise action packed, shoot the animal haters, whirlwind story.

Having Mulch there with his usual levity was a bonus.

Great worldbuilding, great villains, and great antagonists.

Trigger warnings: animal abuse, death of a dog, illness of a parent.

About the Book

Artemis Fowl and the Atlantis Complex by Eoin Colfer

SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH ARTEMIS FOWL

When he gathers the fairy elite to show off his latest invention, it’s clear that the former criminal genius has become delusional and paranoid.

He doesn’t even trust his closest friends.

Artemis has the Atlantis Complex, a disease that is causing him to lose his mind. And things get worse when a deadly attack is launched against an underwater fairy city.

The fairies are desperate. So desperate, that they need the ruthless, calculating mind of history’s wickedest teenager.

Will the real Artemis Fowl please stand up?

Check it out on Goodreads.

My Review

This book is one trigger warning after another, so tread with care.

Artemis suddenly suffers from mental health disorders (OCD, paranoia, multiple personality disorder, anxiety, etc.) and the way it is portrayed can be triggering for some – it was for me, as someone who is neurodivergent.

There is a lot of LOL jokes throughout – mostly thanks to dwarfs and their flatulence. But the severe mental issues Artemis deals with overshadows the story.

A fox is murdered for no apparent reason at the start of the book. Various LEP officers are murdered at the same time – again for no good reason. Holly nearly dies – probably in each chapter.

And then there’s the cross-species love story that ends so tragically that even the giant squid that roams the Atlantic trench was confused.

I knew before starting reading that this wasn’t my favourite book in the series, but I couldn’t remember why – I thought it had to do with there only being nine very long chapters. But it turns out the sheer heaviness of the themes were enough to block this book from memory.

Nice pop culture reference in the blurb (for those who don’t know: Will the real Slim Shady please stand up? is a line from an Eminem song and Will the real Artemis Fowl please stand up? is a play on that).

Not my favourite in the series.

Trigger warnings: abductions, murder, animal murder, mental health issues, language

About the Book

Artemis Fowl and the Last Guardian by Eoin Colfer

It’s Armageddon Time for Artemis Fowl

Opal Koboi, power-crazed pixie, is plotting to exterminate mankind and become fairy queen.

If she succeeds, the spirits of long-dead fairy warriors will rise from the earth, inhabit the nearest available bodies and wreak mass destruction. But what happens if those nearest bodies include crows, or deer, or badgers – or two curious little boys by the names of Myles and Beckett Fowl?

Yes, it’s true. Criminal mastermind Artemis Fowl’s four-year-old brothers could be involved in destroying the human race. Can Artemis and Captain Holly Short of the Lower Elements Police stop Opal and prevent the end of the world?

Check it out on Goodreads.

My Review

I find myself disappointed. This book is one action scene after another with some triggering events thrown in for sport (e.g. possession of two four-year-olds by the souls of ancient berserkers; the Fowl dogs being killed brutally, etc.).

The troll riders and the idea of berserkers were cool, but not enough to save the story.

References that Opal is the messiah for the People, and the final scene about resurrection, felt off in a book about fairies – especially if read in the light of mocking a religion (as reference to St Peter and the pearly gates was thrown in, too).

So much happens throughout the book that almost feels like it’s not one story – just throw it and see if it will end the world.

Opal and Mulch are probably the only two that stay true to character, with storylines that make sense. The rest is too erratic and disjoined.

Won’t read again.

Trigger warnings: murder, possession, killing dogs and other animals brutally, (possible) blasphemy, the end of the world.

My Book

A Way Back Into Love (Irascible Immortals #9)

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I hope you enjoyed this. For more books I’ve read and reviewed, check out either my Pinterest board about reviews or my Goodreads profile. Alternatively, you can check out my reviews on BookBub. Have you read any of the books? Loved or hated any of them?

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*FYI, my reviews are my honest opinion and if something bothers me, I tell it straight. How else will anything change? My opinions are based on being a voracious reader and book buyer, not an attack on the author.*

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